Right-Size Your Expectations

Hey, Friends!

Here is a little video about the power of expectations. Undetected, our hopes and expectations can do a number on us. But if we learn how to right-size them, we can be happier and healthier. I’ll show you how.

Click Here to Watch Video

Much love,



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4 Comments. Leave new

  • Great post Steve! So realistic to check what might be unrealistic expectations. I think it can also help to learn from past disappointments and plan accordingly. For example, when it didn’t really work to plan to gather for brunch on Christmas morning when someone was catching a 3 pm flight and they straggled in for brunch at noon, we switched that gathering to a day or two before Christmas the following year. We learned that planning ahead but being flexible about when we’re all together can help to avoid frustration and disappointment. I love your points too–good reminders to be grateful and take things in stride.

  • Thank you, Beth. I love the way you both plan and remain adaptable. You set the table for the best possible experience for everyone involved. Yet you’re are able to pivot if the situation calls for it. Wonderful.

  • Thank you for this very important message to keep in mind. I was talking to my best friend while this past week and she was telling me the same thing: to have gratitude for what God has blessed me with. It’s hard to do sometimes when our greatest enemies are ourselves, as far as expectations go. Sometimes I feel like everyone has these huge expectations of me and I’m a “loser” because here I am, unemployed again, for three months so far. I’m told I shouldn’t just settle for “any” job, and it’s my fault for moving to an economically depressed area (the Rust Belt), right? Most of these messages come directly from my own head. Instead of looking at what I don’t have, I need to keep gratitude in mind and focus on what I do have — my husband, his family nearby, enough money for our bills and food, a working car.

    • Hi, Stephanie. So nice to hear from you. Thank you for your thoughtful, personal reply.
      My guess is that you knew that the move you were making wasn’t the best career move for you, but you took one for the team. You made a professional sacrifice for the sake of love and family. I understand your discouragement and even self-doubt. But I think you’re pretty heroic.
      On the subject of “settling”, I look at it this way: a job can provide money or meaning, pay the bills or give us thrills. Some jobs don’t pay well but are personally satisfying. Others aren’t fun, but pay well. Some don’t provide much of either (don’t take those unless you’re desperate) and some provide both (we call these, “dream jobs”). The goal is to find your way to your dream job, but that takes time. I found mine at age 38. Others wait longer. So…depending on how you feel and your situation, you may choose to “settle” for a job that pays bills and perhaps provides other perks (a flexible schedule, opportunities to learn, a worthy cause, or nice people to work with). You won’t sign a lifetime contract; it may just be bridge or stepping stone on the path to the job of your dreams. So set your expectations nice and high –ultimately — even if you have to settle immediately.
      Of course, if you’re not desperate financially, etc, enjoy the time you have and develop your skills, make friends, etc while you patiently, actively job-search.
      I hope that helps. Keep on commenting 😀


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