Mother’s Day is this Sunday and you want to do it right this time. That would mean brunch reservations, flowers, candy, a card, and a nice gift.
But maybe you’re thinking that the woman who carried you for 9 months, labored with you for 30 hours, and has doted on you all your life deserves a little more. If so, here are 8 Awesome Mother’s Day Gifts You Won’t Have to Wrap (because they’re so awesome).
1.Post a picture. Find a picture of you and her together and post it on Facebook where her friends from the church can see it. She will love the trip down Memory Lane and her friends will be envious. Try to find a sweet, adorable picture.
2. Clean your room. No woman wants any room in her house to look like the Grinch’s place atop Mount Crumpit. Stay home this Saturday and make her wonder what she did right. If you no longer live at home, come get your crap out of her basement. Clutter your own place with guitar amps, Dvd’s, and that N64 console.
3. Make your own card for her. She will love your artwork, even if it’s horrible. She’ll display it proudly, just like she did with all that refrigerator art you once made. If you need inspiration, spell the letters M-O-T-H-E-R vertically down the cover and write a fitting tribute word beside it. It could not be cheesier if you spelled out K-R-A-F-T on the thing, but she’ll swoon.
4. Download some cool apps or music onto her phone or tablet. My mom loves the iPad we got her last Mother’s Day. “You’ll have to pry it from my cold, dead fingers,” she seems to say. Each of us is playing four games of Words With Friends with her at a time. Show your momma some love and download something she’ll enjoy.
5. Shave and wash up. Unless your name is James Harden, lose the Beard. Even George Clooney looks better without that nasty facial hair. Mom’s love their sons clean-shaven and baby-faced like the day they were born. It will cost you nothing and mean so much to let your momma see that face she loves.
6.Go to church with her. Moms love to show off their grown-up kids at church. Arrive early and don’t be in a rush to leave. Think of all the times she went to your crummy school plays. Yes, they were horrible.
7. Cook dinner for her. This you can do whether you’re a kid or a grown man. And it saves waiting three hours to get into the Country Buffet. It could be brunch or you could grill hot dogs, depending on whether you’re a kid or a grown man. Enjoy a leisurely lunch with your mom.
8. Watch a movie with mom. Pop some popcorn. Get some Goobers & Raisinettes. Most of all, let her pick the movie. Fight Club and Superbad are out, unless she picks them. Bonus points for you if she picks something unbearable. Then you’ll know your gift was an act of love.
As I said at the beginning, it’s time to do something awesome for your mom.
I do not recommend any of these ideas for your wife. I’m getting Bonnie brunch, flowers, candy, a card, and a nice gift. Plus, we’re going to see Guardians of the Galaxy 2.
But enough about me. Time for you to stop and get your business done.