Blind spots are common to everyone of us.
Some blind spots are literal. When you’re driving down the road and want to change lanes…then hear a blaring horn followed by an unhappy hand gesture, you know had a blind spot. Because you can’t see other drivers, you drift into their lanes and cause problems.
Horses have it better. They have huge eyes on each side of their head so their peripheral vision is extraordinary. This is useful when it comes to predators and other dangers. And they can see all their traveling companions and rarely step on each other’s hooves.
You and I don’t have that. You don’t have eyes on the back of your head or even on the side of your head. What that means in relationships is that you may not know when you hurt someone’s feelings or send the wrong messages. Unable to fully see how people experience us, we can really get in our way.
Bottom line: You have no option to be free of blindspots. You’ve got them. You’ve always had them and always will. Blind spots can make you wince, but better to simply be wary???
When something goes wrong, stop and ask yourself, “What happened there?” Become self-reflective and ask, “What might I not be aware of?” Frequently what we need are trustworthy friends. try SeekING out people who know you and love you who were there when the incident happened.
For example, when someone said something, then I said something back, and the room got quiet and uncomfortable; yes, we moved on, but it was weird. I can’t see what I can’t’ see. So I may need to ask a friend, “Hey, what happened there?” And they may reply, “Couldn’t you tell that she had tears in her eyes as you went on and on with your point? You were pretty harsh with her.”
People like me who have strong personalities can come on strong and not realize it. Or perhaps you have a softer personality and tend to get ignored or overlooked. I might say too much. You may not say enough. You may feel invisible or not respected but that may not be the case at all. You just don’t say much. If I want to be heard, I need to listen. If you want to be heard, you need to speak.
Whatever they might be, our blind spots are our responsibility. No one is able to do anything about my blind spots but me. Here’s what to do.
1. Become Comfortable in Your Own Skin.
Breathe and say, “I have shortcomings, blind spots, weaknesses, and I’m not alone. I’m going to be okay, I don’t have to be perfect. I can have shortcomings and they don’t disqualify me from relationships, success, or leadership.
2. Step Out of Your Blissful Ignorance.
It will hurt to become aware of our imperfections but that’s okay. It’s got to get worse before it gets better. And Proverbs 28:13 says, “The one who hides their sins (or blindspots) will not prosper; but whoever confesses and forsakes them will find compassion.” Openness to feedback will endear you to others. People don’t throw stones at teachable people.
3. Become More Humble & Merciful.
Awareness of your flaws can make you humble and easy to be with. You’ll become a kinder and gentler person. Perfect people are too tightly wound and people walk on egg shells with them. You’re a member of the human race and this makes you flawed. Just let it make you more merciful with yourself and with others. It will make you a better boss, a better client, a better human being.
Embrace your blind spots. Be okay with them, become aware of them, and give them the attention they need. Let them make you more real, humble, gentle, and merciful.
Those are my thoughts. What are yours?